Yesterday I had every intention of picking up where we left off on Tuesday. But then…we were invited to join friends for lunch at a local pub and a sweet deal to boot, 3 courses – starter, main course, dessert and all the wine you can drink for about 12 euros. Hell yeah, thus we went. I offered to be the DD, so that my writing plans for the day would have a fighting chance at survival. Despite that position of authority – one would think – since I was holding the car keys, I couldn’t get the others to peel their lips from the the wine jug. All belligerence. They boozed their way merrily through the afternoon heat as I sipped agua sin gas (still water) and tried to be merry myself and not seem utterly distracted about wanting to do nothing else but go home and write. {sigh}
Yet, here we are, a new day with it’s new penny shine. And just as hot. And the boozers have hangovers you can photograph.
On that note of divine justice, let’s resume our thread about Different Angles as a strategy for leaving hamster wheels to the hamsters and finding possibility when there appears to be none.
No better place to start than Step One – Clarifying the Problem.
Clarifying the problem is not so much finding the right words as identifying the heart of the issue. Wouldn’t you know, the sticky stuff backing what’s really bugging you is often very different from your operational assumptions. I’ll use my geographic dilemma as an example.
To recap from last time, on the surface the problem seems to be simply do we settle down and make a home in the area of Spain we’ve been for the past six months or do we resume our plans to be semi-nomadic, spending six months here, a few months there, etc.
Assume that we have our list of compelling pros and cons for each option, and that we’ve done our analysis. Each option offers risks and safety of different kinds. I don’t want to go into those details because they’re actually beside the point, that we’re stymied by what lies beneath, by the real problem: a fear of getting this decision wrong. Because if we get it wrong there are, as to be expected, consequences. Not life threatening consequences, mind you, but life impacting.
No doubt many of you are familiar with the fear of WRONG, a fear so big that only capital letters apply, and how immobilizing it can be. Others, though, may wrastle more with the fear of being boxed into an Either/Or situation, of a too limited set of choices. Or, there’s the fear of playing it safe, sometimes coexisting with the fear of being too reckless. And if you’ve spent some time exploring the cast of characters within your character, perhaps you’ve bumped into the Peanut Gallery of the Mind, the “they” that have no names but we act as if we must answer to them. We feel the pressure of them as genuinely as if they’re actual human beings piled on the small of our backs.
The problem behind the problem is quite often fear related. Which doesn’t exactly amp the palatability of the exercise. Still, be it a case of fear or not, when you name what’s really bugging you, you’re ready for Step Two, which is yet another step closer to shifting from flummoxed to flowing.
Step Two – Brainstorming Different Angles
First, let me clarify what I mean by a different angle: simply put it’s a different view, a different perspective, a different vantage point, a different lens – pick the synonym you like best – by/through which to look at a situation.
An example of what I mean would be that I could look at the Settled vs. Semi-nomadic question from a perspective that doesn’t worry about the wrong choice but assumes we’ll make the right choice. That’s an obvious example that errs on the side of Pollyannaism, but nonetheless I think you can get the gist of what’s being illustrated. What becomes possible by changing the view from which we examine our options? For starters we don’t have the fear blowing smoke in our eyes anymore, and that alone makes it much easier to see what might lie ahead.
As perfectly legitimate as this more positive angle may be, it’s not “it”. It’s not the one that will part the clouds and let the sun pour in. It’s useful, but I suspect there’s a better angle just around the corner. It may take 4 or 5 more before I find an angle with a good fit, sizzle, and heft. Just the prospect of figuring out other angles – because the sky’s the limit – sends some people into a tailspin, so I’m going to walk you through some of the ways I initiate the brainstorming. (Keep in mind that this is just a sample. There are a hundred other approaches. )
Metaphor – Use a metaphor as a frame. For example, I sometimes use the metaphor of Dog-spots-Squirrel. What happens when a chase-loving dog espies a nut-munching squirrel a hundred yards ahead? He becomes indelible focus dog. He’s not aware of anything but the bushy-tailed rodent in his line of sight and nothing else matters, not even a sprinkler system that will get his feet wet which he doesn’t like, especially not even his mommy who asks ever so politely if he would please refrain from harassing the wildlife.
One of my clients dug into her kitchen pantry for some metaphorical inspiration when we did this step. That was a coaching call not to be forgotten. It’s not every day you talk with someone who uses hot sauce and pickle relish as frames for viewing a problem.
Metaphor, let this option whir in the background while we move on to some other mechanisms.
Icons/Archetypes – Essentially you ask yourself, if I were this person (insert archetype or icon) what would be my take on the situation? If you were Winston Churchill, say, or Coco Chanel…? If you were Ramona the Brave or Don Quixote…? It’s not important that your vision include historical accuracy for a historical person. It’s your interpretation of this icon or archetype that counts. As a viewing structure this works because it asks you to step outside yourself and into the shoes of someone or something larger than you generally believe yourself to be.
Change of Geography — This entails actually changing your physical location in order to change where you sit mentally. It’s not necessary for the change in geography to involve great distances and airplanes. Sometimes all you need to do is take a bus to the park across town or leave your study to spend a little time in the guest bedroom. Even moving from the sofa closest to the TV to the love seat in the corner can make a difference. Some of the magic is in the physicality, of moving from A to B, even when the shift is slight. Some of the magic comes from the curiosity that naturally springs from relocating from one place to the next, even when the change of scene is only a matter of yardage.
Ask One of the Cast for Guidance – In a nutshell you call forward one of your cast who generally use their powers for your good, and the greater good isn’t a stretch. (As with the Coop of Doubt.) A member of my cast is named Jo Jo who Go-go’s. She has big hair, white patent boots and a preference for prints a person of my height could never get away with. Light-hearted and saucy, she’s an accountant by education and a dancer by preference. The only reason she confines her dancing to a cage is that she gets so enthusiastic she’s been known to leave a few black eyes in her wake. So out of concern for others and decent level of social awareness, she only go-go’s in her go-to zone. I think it’s obvious that I like Jo Jo and like the energy she calls up, but that’s not the only reason I might seek a different view through her. It’s the blend of pragmatism and dynamism that so nicely aligns with the practical dreamer in me.
Stitching together what we have thus far…
To recap the vehicles for finding different angles, we have:
1) Assume right vs. wrong.
2) Dog-spots-Squirrel metaphor.
3) Icon/Archetype – I didn’t actually name one earlier. To be frank, that concept isn’t singing to me for this particular problem. Sometimes it jives, sometimes it doesn’t. If forced on pain of death to pick one, I’d choose Minerva, because I’ve always liked what she stood for. But if you have to choose an icon on pain of death, the exercise itself is kind of a moot point. Obviously, in that case there are bigger problems to be sorted.
4) Considering I’ve been glued to my desk chair all afternoon writing this piece, I’m both itchy for a change of scene and yet approaching brain dead. Brain dead is winning. Nonetheless, I’ll give this one a quick go. The other night we went into town the other night for a pizza. Despite the summer holiday crowds we had no problem finding a table at our favored cafe in the square near the church. It was a warm evening tempered by a light breeze. There was a buzz and a noise level that only kiddies demanding ice creams and rides on the coin-operated taxicab and weary parents needing a little peace and with coins in their coin purses can generate. We hadn’t been to dinner in town for a while, so the change of scene was welcome. I liked the way the world looked from where I sat that evening. And if I were to name a geographical shift for the sake of this argument, it would be something along the lines of pizzeria in the town square. Remember that for next time.
5) Cast member, Jo Jo who Go-go’s. Much said about her already. More very likely said about her in the next post.
The last bit of Step Two – narrowing the field
I’m going with my gut response here and going with the angles that tickle my curiosity the most. And those are angles #4 and #5. Gut responses aren’t easily explained, but in the next post the fuzzy logic of mine will likely float to the surface as I tackle the next couple of steps in the Different Angles process.
Now, it’s time for an evening swim. And the walking of a dog who’s kind of crossing his legs. It’s been months since he’s seen a squirrel, but in their absence he’s discovered the joy of chasing rabbits. Much to the regret of the rabbits.
